Memories of Miami Beach
Subscribe to our Newsletter for more artworks and coupons
Find my work at:
There is a lot of strange people that call Miami Beach home. More often than not, it is very unfortunate to meet such fellows. Needless to say, there is a reason why I never go to the beach at night. There aren’t any lights because of the turtles. This makes it easy for ninjas to attack you. One time, my mom was out on a date, and she totally swears she saw a shadow creeping about. She has excellent night vision. When she was small, she used to go to the jungle with her brother and her uncle. Her uncle was a cool fellow. Maybe I will talk more about him, if mom gives me permission.
Now, this brings me back to Miami Beach. Another time, we went to a bridge to do some night fishing. Some of my mom’s friends had the rods, and it was a nice change of pace. We were not able to do so because it was crowded. Apparently, the bridge was were the homeless folks liked to fish for their dinner. Also, there were plenty of regular folk too. I was surprised there was so much traffic in that one spot. Anyhow, we tried to leave, but we entered a wrong way and the police went after us. After explaining our intentions to get the hell out of there and never come back, he allowed us to leave with just a warning. It was a good warning to. It wasn’t the best place for decent folks.
When I say decent, I do not refer to one of those nuclear types of families, with the baskets, and the picnics and the dogs. When I refer to decent, I am talking about folks in the middle ground of things. They are neither wholly good, just a bit bad, but not in a criminal sense. We no longer hang out with them, because their ways are too drunk. Also, there was an incident with that I do not want to go into detail about. Some things are best not mention or even write about. I will not even allude to it indirectly. The long and short of it is that I just don’t like them. I think they are a bad influence on mother, and they are not really her friends. Then again, one could say the same thing about anyone who is remotely fun, but in a drinkie sort of way.
All excess of this type I find rather annoying and unsightly. I find humans particularly disgusting when they get that way. I am not opposed to people having fun, just do it in a way that doesn’t damage your neurons. I suppose I could go on a long rant about in that direction, but I have a pretty Zarathustra attitude about the entire subject. If a person is destined to fall, the best thing you can do is move out of the way so they do not drag you down with them. Well, now I am back to Miami Beach. A couple of years ago they did the horse polo or something. They brought plenty of horses who pooped all over the beach, while the riders did their sport. I took a couple of photos of the event that came out rather cool.
I like horses, if you can’t already tell. At another time, there did a soccer event, in the sand. I do not have any pictures of it, because I find soccer especially boring. The same thing could be said of baseball. I probably will go on a rant the particulars of what makes each of these sports boring, but not today. From time to time, Miami Beach has some cool art exhibitions. They are usually located in Colin and the 22nd. My family no longer goes there because the parking costs an arm and two legs. Also, the parking was remade and made super small. You have to arrive there like super early to find a decent place to park. All in all, Parking is the one thing that I would change about Miami Beach.
I bet if a fellow bought a piece of land, and made a huge parking lot, he could make a wallop. Most people just want to go there for a day, and cannot seem to find parking. Another interesting thing I remember was the one time I went to do the stupid Sea Level Rise Documentary. It was aired in PBS. It was made by FIU. It focused on a bunch of politicians appearing there just to look cool. I also got an interesting tip from a fellow reporter. He said that my camera was just like the big one, but smaller. They also wished to upgrade to those, but most new stations run on a shoestring budget. Some were even still using VHS tapes. When the kids went to analyze the water, they found out something rather silly. The permission forms did not allow for the kids to get wet in the ocean. They were brought there to do science stuff, but were not allowed to touch the water. All in all, it was a complete fiasco.
It was one of those exercises in futility. The entire documentary was about how Miami Beach was sunk. They extrapolated that the entire real estate of the place was going to be 1 meter underwater in like 10 years. I read something similar 10 years. It was the millennium assessment. When it came to predicting the future, they often multiplied the numbers 10 fold, instead of assuming that it would continue the same trends. This is called extrapolation, assuming that the new date will resemble the old one. It all sounds well in good, till you start making up bull. Lately, I have lost all respect for the science community. Most of the universities are discovering why the sky is blue and other useless nonsense. I have yet to see an actual research that seems relevant or insightful.
I mean, when are they going to make the terminator, or the cure for cancer, or a doomsday device that is ecofriendly. Anything, will be better than learning why the sky is blue. I know I had a better example, but I forgot. Most of the research finds are forgettable. Call me when they get balls big enough to successfully clone a human being. I mean, why not? I bet lot’s of people would pay top dollars for a clone of themselves to raise, like their own kids. I am just talking nonsense now. Let’s see, what else can I remember of Miami Beach aside from roasting of boredom. One time, I was sitting there and I large schools of fishes near the beach. It looks like a huge blotch of darkness in the water. I realized they were fishes when they started jumping. I was only later that I learned that they were schooling to run away from a predator. People swam among them not realizing the danger they were in.
At another time, I saw the beach full of jelly fishes. They were littering the coast from head to toe. This was like 18 years ago, and it has not happened ever again. It is one of those freak occurrences. It was really annoying to be walking on tip toes among them. It certainly made for quite the annoying walk. While walking about, I rarely saw anything out of the ordinary. From time to time, one had to be careful with the holes kids would make in the sand. Some of them were large enough to burry a fellow whole. The beach near Sazon is interesting enough. It goes down, and then it goes up in a large area. It is just a segment were it is super low. When the tide is super low, the water doesn’t cover it. People like to hang out there and sit there instead. This is only common near October, when the tides are super extreme.
We have not gone to the beach much as of late. This is due to the fact that we moved. Also we are getting crazy Sahara weather. The dust of the Sahara also took with it the heat. There hasn’t been a day when the weather wasn’t like 100 degrees. I only go out when the heat is like 80 or a sweet 78. A lot of heat, and no wind is a recipy for a heat stroke. People die from that, you know. Beach aside, there is also Bayside. I used to like going there when I was a little kid. When I got older, I hated it. Everything changed, and you know how much I hate change. The biggest change was the end of my favorite store. It had a lot of curiosities for sale. Most of the time people went inside just to take photos and not to buy. I did that too a couple of times, but the owners told me to put the camera away. It was really annoying. With that attitude, it is not wander that the place went bankrupt. If you are mean to the costumers, then they will not buy. This is why I am always extra nice in my blogs. I do not want you folk to feel bad. Happy energies all around, my mates.
All in all, Miami Beach is a cool place to walk, but you have to be attentive 100 percent of the time. There have been a lot of incidents of pedestrians being run over. The best thing about it is seeing the public artworks. There is like one per block, at the very least. Pokemon Go keeps good track of them. You can also see plenty of cats. Miami Beach is cat city. Most of them are tuxedo cats, or orange tabbies. The locals tend to leave food out there for them. You will find them all along the grasses near the beaches. Since they are feral, they barely tolerate humans. They will only approach you, meowing, if they smell food on you. Most of the time they run away from you.
Aside from the beach itself, there is also the shows. There is usually something going on, in either a hotel or an arena. Some of the hotels have their own shows, like Faena. They are more geared to the adult audience. Brother took us to see one of those shows one Christmas. We did not want to spend Christmas alone, at home so we went out. Normally, we would visit some of my mother’s friends for Christmas, but they were all in Abu Dhabi visiting their son. It is just my mom and my bro in my life. The rest of my family doesn’t exist, as far as I am concerned. They know why, and I will not go into details about it. Maybe when I am like 70, and if I am still bitter about it, I will write a mean, crazy old lady style autobiography.
Those are always fun. Anything written by loonies promises to be interesting. Just look at the last work by Nietzsche, you can already smell the madness by then. Anyhow, we went to see the show. Faena lets you take photos. Next time, I will bring my big camera instead of the little one. I will show you anything that is classy. I always try to keep my posts rated E for Everyone. Most of the shows in Miami Beach are classy, and somewhat expensive. We are going to see Elton John’s last show this year. My mom is like a big fan of the fellow. As for me, I tolerate him, but this is just between you and me. Well, I think this is just about it, as far as my specific memories of Miami Beach. If I remember more, I will tell you more about it.